Parenting is a constant balancing act. How do you balance their needs with your needs with the world's needs? How do you balance a house, sports, the job, playtime, worktime and all other time? How do you balance your role as their parent with your role as his spouse? How do you balance your desire to give them the world with the need to teach them that you don't always get what you want and sometimes you have to learn to live with disappointment? Everyday since that day in March seven years ago I wake up in the morning and start my balancing act.

When I was a child there were so many things I wanted. Some I got. Some I didn't. I always remember both of my parents saying, "You may not always have what you want, but you will always have what you need." That was usually followed up with "If there is something you want bad enough you may have to just work for it yourself." Infuriating to a kid who just wants Mom and Dad to buy them the coolest new pair of jeans, but an invaluable lesson to the adult who learned the value of hard work and earning your way.

I think anyone could look at my brother, my sister or me and know that our parents taught us the value of working hard and making sacrifices to achieve the things that really matter. When we graduated high school there was no giant savings account waiting to help us find our way in the world whether that be college or a new house of our own or whatever road we found ourselves following. There was a kiss, a hug, and a new set of luggage. Wise folks those parents of mine.

I knew if college is what I wanted I had to work hard during high school. I had to get the scholarships that would open the doors. Then when I got to college I had to work three jobs to stay there. (I know you are waiting now for the part about walking uphill both ways in a snowstorm. Well, I gottcha here. If you ever lived on Daisy Hill at KU you know you actually do have to walk uphill both ways to get to class!) In spite of that, I learned to value my education. I learned to choose wisely and not be afraid to work hard. I learned what it meant to stand on a hill on a sunny day in May wearing a cap and gown looking down over a stadium filled with people and know that I earned my right to stand there.

I thought that lesson was hard to learn back then. Now I have the task of teaching those values to my children. I have to balance my desire to give them the world with my desire for them to sometimes earn it themselves or even sometimes be disappointed.

I don't know if we are doing it right. I don't even know if we are really doing it well. I just know that Jamy and I are doing our best. Together we work hard at this parenting job of ours. Some days we give too much and some days we don't give enough. Each day we face the joys and the challenges of that day with determination to balance it all in a way that in the end leads to our children learning the value of honesty, hard work, family, and life. I guess we won't truly know how we did until we watch our children trying out this balancing act for themselves as they raise their own children. Maybe as we watch what values they try to pass onto their own kids we will finally know how well we did.