T-minus1 day!!!

The day is almost here. It is almost time to push my first little hatchling out of the nest and see how she flies. Kindergarten starts tomorrow. We went to the parent meeting last night. My first experience as the mom sitting in those way tiny kindergarten chairs with my daughter's name written on a cut-out apple right in front of me, like she is actually old enough to be going to school. Over the last five years occasionally I have thought about her starting school. I am finding as the day gets closer that the idea of kindergarten is way different than the reality.

The idea of kindergarten is happy little children playing together in games where everyone gets along, graham crackers and milk, crayons, paints, tasting the glue, and rainbows everywhere. The reality of kindergarten is the first place that someone other than me will be spending more time with my child than I am. Other people will start influencing her values and beliefs. Public schools are where kids can be mean, guns sometimes show up on the playground, and the milk is usually warm. Taking off to the park for the morning because it is only 80 degrees in August is now a happy memory.

I know all over the U.S. moms, both working and stay-at-home, are facing the same milestone. Our babies aren't babies anymore. It really is time that they step out of the nest, spread their wings and start out on the adventure.

A child's school years have such a profound effect on who that child becomes. Think about your own life and your own experience in school. I bet that a big part of who you are today is based upon the experiences you had during school. Maybe that is what is so hard about letting the babies head off to school. For the first time, they have to experience the world outside our safe little home and learn how to live in that world where not everyone will think they are the smartest, funniest, most amazing person on the planet.

I am so excited for Abby as she starts her schooling. She is going to learn so many new things. She will make new friends, maybe ones who will stay with her for her whole life if she is lucky. She is going to have experiences, both good and bad that will change and shape the way she sees the world and the people in it.

My wish for her is that the idea of school and the reality of school are actually one and the same. I wish for her to have rainbows, crayons, graham crackers and milk even if it is warm. I hope she not only meets amazing people, but also a few mean kids. She needs to learn that sometimes people are mean and how you react to them says so much about you. I hope she discovers a love of learning that will last her whole lifetime. I also hope that as she ventures out into the world she always remembers how much she is loved at home. This is the place where we will always think she is one of the three smartest, funniest, most amazing people on the planet. We will always be here standing behind her, trying to not get in her way but always watching to make sure she is okay.

So, the million dollar question.....have I cried? I have friends who have been crying about this day at least a couple of times a day for the last month. Not me though, I am a rock!!! No tears here. Okay, at least not until last night. Something happened sitting in that tiny little chair last night listening to Abby's new teacher briefing us on Operation Shove-Your-Kid-Into-the-World. I was doing okay until she started talking about how she will be sending home books and the kids are supposed to READ them to us!!!! What, Abby reading??????!!!!! How in the world can that happen? Isn't that my job? For five years, I am the one who reads the stories around here. We pick out a book, curl up together and go on all kinds of adventures together as we read book after book. I guess when her teacher started talking about reading, I realized that it won't be long and my baby won't even need me to read to her anymore. Matter of fact, she can use her reading skills to escape from me if she wants, like I used to do when I was a kid. Anyway, right there in the middle of all of the parents I started tearing up. Of course, I looked around and six other moms were doing their best not to let loose a geyser of tears.

Jamy and I went out to dinner after the meeting. As we were sitting there talking when he looked at me in that certain way he has and, dang, if the tears did almost start coming again. I gently reminded him not to laugh too hard at me. His day is coming. One day in the not so distant future our little girl is going to show up with some motorcycle-riding, tattoo-wearing, purple-haired, pile of raging teenage boy hormones and we will see which parent starts crying then!!!

Wish me luck as we go spend our last day of summer together and prepare ourselves for the start of the next chapter in Abby's life.

Oh yeah, did I mention that I get to do it all over again next Tuesday when Weston starts preschool? Kleenex, anyone?