Share the Magic

I have a very important challenge for all of you parents out there. Do something with your kids that you aren't supposed to do. Mix it up a bit and teach them that while routine is great, it gives you something to depend on, the magic happens when life throws you the unexpected.

Every so often I try to "break the rules" with the kids. Every time some amazing memories are made. Our most recent "magical memory" was made Friday night. The kids were all bathed, read to, prayed over, and tucked in by 8 pm as is routine at the Dunbar house. Then I took off to walk up to the gym for my workout. As I was walking across town, I passed a house that has a giant yard. The moon was huge, full and the most amazing orange color. Its moonbeams were shining across the lawn of this house making it almost glow. As I got closer to the house I noticed the lightening bugs! I am not exaggerating when I saw there were close to a million of them. I couldn't believe my eyes!

Right then I decide this was one of those times to break the rules. I called back to the house (I know carrying a cell phone to the gym, what the heck) and asked if the kids were asleep. Jamy said Abby was still up so I had him get her dressed and meet me on the porch. I ran back, put her on her bike and we headed out. When we got to this house I just stood and watched her. The sight of her running around with a million lightening bugs all around her in that moonlight is not something I will forget for a very long time. We probably stood on that corner for 20 minutes while she played. We decided to make a night of it and went for a long night walk together after that. I never made it to the gym, but, man, did my heart get a workout anyway.

So, take your kids and teach them that the world is a magical place just waiting for them to discover it. Heck, you might even learn the lesson as well.

A Life That Matters

I woke up last night for no apparent reason. Nothing wrong, no worries, just "poof" wide awake! It happens to the women in my family. By nature most of us are night owls. If we aren't night owls than any amount of sleep at night counts as a really good nap. If we get woken up in the middle of the night going back to sleep becomes virtually impossible. I have found I often do my best thinking during those times in the middle of the night while the rest of the house is quiet. Maybe because it is the only time the house is quiet!

Last night among other things I began thinking about an old friend of mine. I hadn't seen her in awhile and I missed her. We used to go to DQ in college and get blizzards. She went with me the first time I cut my hair short. Of course, the plan was for her to do it as well. I buzzed mine like a little boy in the back. Next thing I know, she is stepping around the corner with maybe a centimeter cut off of her hair. Friendship, you can't beat it can you???

Thinking about my friend made me think about life in general and what really matters. I know, I know, deep, huh?! I began to think how the meaning of life has varied depending on what stage of my life I was in at the time. Who I wanted to be and what I wanted to achieve has grown and evolved with every experience life has given me. When I was a kid all I could think about was being an astronaut. I was ready for the space program, let me tell ya! Then I went to college and discovered that I could have a career doing the things I loved to do, hiking, camping, playing with animals. That realization centered me more and put my feet back on the ground. No longer was I going to fly to the moon; now I was going to stay right here and save the planet's animals from destruction. I was going to spend my days hiking in the woods observing animal behavior and my nights sleeping in a tent.

Not long after I was blessed with my first niece. All of the sudden, running off to the mountains wasn't so important anymore. It was more important to me to stay closer to home and be the kind of aunt who makes a difference. More nieces and nephews followed and I discovered I REALLY loved this aunt gig. I don't think my oldest niece knows how much she influenced the direction my life would take. I hope someday she can really appreciate the impact she makes on the world around her. Just a month after she was born, my first nephew came along. I was in love with the little elf the first time I set eyes on him. I don't get to see him or his brother and sister as much but his arrival just reaffirmed the decision I had made. The girl was going nowhere!

I then I took a job working as a student advisor at KU. It was just going to be a six-month filler job while I waited to go to grad school. Again, my priorities changed and the meaning of life became something different. I discovered a love of teaching that almost rivaled my love of biology and nature. Now what to do!! Off to get a teaching degree I went.

Meanwhile, the two most life changing events happened. One, I married the man I had loved darn near all of my life and two, we had babies! Anyone who has done either one of those things can tell you that the meaning of life really changes when you become your own family separate from mom, dad, brothers and sisters.

So last night as I lay there thinking about all of these things and marveling at the way my life has become something pretty amazing I realized something. I realized that even though my goals, dreams, priorities and the meaning of my life have seemed to change so much over the years one thing really remains constant. Through all of the places I have been, no matter what I thought I wanted to do with my life my priority has always been to live a life that mattered. I think that is really what we all want when it comes down to it, isn't it? We want to make a difference in the world around us. We want to touch a few lives along the way. We want to stand at the end of our life and be able to say with pride, "That was my life and it mattered."

I realized that, sometimes knowingly but most of the time just by the grace of God, I have always tried to live every day so that it matters. Every day can't be rainbows and sunshine, but it should make a difference in your life and the lives of the people around you.

When you are faced with a scary decision or a challenge, decide in favor of the choice that really makes your life matter. When you are stuck in a rut and seem to be spinning your wheels, do something that matters!! Make a change. Don't be scared, just do it. Quiting my job to stay home with my kids was such an unknown for me and for Jamy. Financially, could we make it? Would I be bored out of my mind? What would happen to my identity? Blah, blah, blah, blah!! In the end though, I knew in my heart making the choice I did was the way that would lead me to a place where I could have the greatest impact upon the world. Raising our kids to be good, happy, healthy citizens makes my life matter.

As I get older, I know there are even more stages of life to come. Each one will bring me to a new place with new goals, dreams and priorities. I still hope someday to figure out a way to teach while also spending time in the woods studying animal behavior and sleeping in my tent at night. I just know there are more important things I need to be doing right now. The rest can wait awhile. I also know that when I stand at the end of my life if I can look back and say, "That was my life and it mattered!" I will have achieved everything I wanted to do.


In the spirit of my new found realization of the meaning of life, here are some pictures of what we did this weekend to make our lives matter. We had so much to do around the house, but made sure to take lots of breaks to spend with the kids. I have much better memories of swimming at the lake with the babies than I ever would have if Jamy had spent the whole weekend on the roof and I had a houseful of clean toilets!!

Enjoy!!!

Stuff That Mommy and Daddy Do After the Kids Go to Bed!

If you read the title of this post I bet right now you are in the same dirty little place my poor confused husband is right now as I type this. Here is the scene:

Jamy, who has been up on the hot roof all day, is sitting on the couch in the living room. I was in the kitchen cleaning up from supper. Abby and Weston are blowing bubbles in the house because it is raining out and what the heck. Skylar is sitting learning what it means to be a part of this crazy family. All of the sudden I hear Abby say to Daddy, "Daddy, tonight when you and Mommy are doing your stuff, can you clean up this little bit I spilled?"

Jamy responds: "What?"

Abby says: "You know when you do the stuff with Mommy that you do after us kids go to bed."

Jamy, even more confused: "What?"

Abby, starting to think Daddy is an idiot: "Daddy, Mommy told me all about the stuff you do with her after we go to bed. Can you clean up what I spilled while you are doing it?"

Jamy, now shocked: "She told you WHAT?!!!"

The conversation just kept getting funnier from here. My poor husband, who on some matters still thinks like a 13-year-old boy, obviously is thinking that I have enlightened our five-year-old in the ways of marital relations.


Now flashback a few weeks so you can understand.

Abby and I are sitting on her bed talking while I put her down for the night. She asked me if I would read books with her in my bed. This is one of her favorite things to do. I felt awful but that night I had a couple of things that I had to do so I told her if she was still awake when I came up we would read together in my bed. She asked me what I had to do. I told her that Mommy's and Daddy's had things around the house that we have to do once the kids are in bed so that we can play with the kids more during the day. She thought this was okay and since then asks me every now and then if I have stuff to do that night after she goes to bed.

So now the question is, do I go in there and bail poor Jamy out before he says something he will regret telling our daughter or should I just sit in here and laugh for a little bit longer? Bet you can guess which one I pick!!!!!

Why does it always happen this way?

Picture this... two days before we were scheduled to take Skylar and Weston into Children's Mercy hospital for some tests my littlest darling was playing in the living room. She loves to run giggling through the house. It is such a beautiful sound! This time she took off toward the stairs in the living room. Her little foot hit a toy that was on the floor. Her whole body went airborne and then WHAMMO she landed right on the edge of the bottom step. I am telling you, people, these 120 year old floors are HARD. She landed right on her squishy little cheek. By the time I got across the room it was already a nasty black and blue mess.

Then, we got to take her into one of the largest children's hospitals in the state. I was pretty sure they were not going to let her leave with us.

At t-ball that night, everyone thought her face was dirty and kept trying to wipe it off for her. I am not sure if I was more worried that some one would think I beat her or that people thought I would let her walk around with such a dirty face!

Here are a few pictures I took FOUR days after the tumble. Nice, huh????

To The Best Man I Know...

Father's Day this year was a little sad for us. Daddy is still gone on his big trip. Three weeks is a long time for both him and the little ones. This trip was especially long it seemed because Father's Day fell at the end of it. The kids and I didn't get to spend the day with Daddy making sure he knows how much he means to our family. He just called though and is on his way home so "Yeah".

We really are fortunate. Three weeks may seem long, but it is nothing compared to eighteen months in Iraq. Missing one Father's Day is yucky but not anything like missing the birth of your child, all of their major milestones, birthdays, Christmas, and just those normal everyday experiences that make up the memories of a lifetime. So if you are reading this and you haven't done it yet, figure out some way to let our troops know you appreciate them. As this war drags on I think people begin to lose the awareness that there are thousands of families still missing a loved one and those loved ones are still working hard in a far away place where they don't get to enjoy the way of life they are there to protect. Happy Father's Day to all of those dads who didn't get to spend the day with the family they love. I hope you get home soon and that you know we appreciate all you do.

Now, back to the daddy in our house. We love you, Jamy! This family isn't the same family when you are not here. Our home isn't the same home without you. From that first day you held Abby, you have been the type father that every little child deserves to have. There aren't words to discribe how proud I am of you, the job you are doing and our family. Instead here is a Father's Day video to show you how much these kiddos love you.




I love you, Baby! Thank you for the life you have built with me and happy Father's Day!

Bad Mommy......

So, last night was our first night of T-ball. Would she like it? Would she hate it? Will this be something that we spend every summer involved in? As we walked up to her first game I was thinking all of these thoughts. I could picture Jamy and I sitting in the bleachers cheering loudly as she ran the bases for the next 13 or so summers. Then you figure Skylar and Weston following right behind and I could already almost feel the pain of bleacher butt!

Summer and ball just go together, don't they? There is nothing like sitting on a summer evening watching your kid making their childhood memories as they play with their friends. Youth ball is what sports should really be about. As I watched Abby last night, I saw a little girl just having a great time with some new friends. It didn't matter who won or lost. No one cared if the ball rolled right through her legs (and it did, twice)! It was all about a bunch of kids getting together and enjoying the great American pastime.

So how did she do? Look out major leagues, here we come!!!! Her first time at bat was a classic. She lines up the bat, tries a couple of practice swings and then swings so hard I figured "that ball is OUTTA here!!" Right at the last second she pulls the bat and barely taps the ball off of the tee. It bounced about a foot-and-a-half in front of the tee. Of course, we are all yelling, "Run, Abby!" She just stands there not really sure what to do. Then my wonderful little friend to everyone reaches down, picks up the ball and hands it to the pitcher saying, "Here you go!" I almost peed I was laughing so hard. She finally made it to first base. It was funny because you could tell she wasn't sure what the point was, but who was she to question.

Her next at bat she couldn't remember where to go so she started running to the pitcher's mound. We finally got her to first base. The next kid came up and hit the ball right in between the first and second bases. The coach told Abby, "Run to second." You know Abby, when she is told to do something she sometimes gets blinders on when trying to accomplish the task. She had been told to run to second so to heck with the fact that there were five little kids in the road trying to get the ball. She ran right through the middle of them! All of us parents were cracking up. One of them asked me when T-ball became a contact sport. What was really funny is that she barely even slowed down. She kept her eye on the base and didn't stop until she got there.

Of course, I was distracted getting ready to go and forgot the camera and the video camera so I missed it all. Bad Mommy! I am really bummed because Jamy is still gone and so doesn't get to see it. He was on the phone with me though getting the play-by-play so at least didn't totally miss it.

Our next game is Thursday so I will try to get some good pics!

Take care and Happy Batting!

Another milestone.......

Before Abby was born I started a journal for her. I didn't write in it everyday, but I tried to write in it enough to capture the essence of her first years. This blog has sort of taken the place of that journal as now I have three of the little buggers to chase down.

Today, I looked back in the journal for a specific milestone. Here is part of the entry from September 25, 2003.

"It is official, you have your bottom right side front tooth. The left side has also started to come in. You have been handling it great! So far you are your normal happy self."

For those of you who have kids, do you remember that feeling of excitement when that first little baby tooth started to poke through? I remember thinking how fun it was to watch all of the new things happening to Abby in just those first few months. I remember wondering how the time could be going so fast.

Well, now I am really wondering. As of about 3 pm this afternoon, we have come full circle. That first little baby tooth came out today. I'll admit it, I shed a couple of tears. I held it in my hand remembering how big it looked in her little mouth when it first came in and thinking how small it looks now. She instantly looked so much older to me with that big hole in her smile. So I guess it is fitting that the first tooth she lost was the first tooth that she got. Maybe it always works that way, I don't know. I do know though that my little girl is growing up way too fast.

Skylar came running in the room just a couple of minutes after Abby's tooth came out. She was so excited pointing in her own mouth and saying, "Teeth, out!" All I could say was, "No baby girl. Let's keep yours in there just a little while longer. Mommy isn't ready for all of this growing up!"

So keep an eye out, you know me....pictures will be coming. Heck, I'll probably make a movie about it!!!